Because you Asked For It: Bad Words

This week in Because You Asked For It:

Source: Child Central

My four year old son just recently began asking the same question over and over again throughout the day.  He'll ask, "Did I just say a bad word?"  I don't hear him say anything but then he'll just keep asking the question throughout the day no matter what my response is.  I've replied to him and ignored him, but nothing seems to work.  He just recently started preschool after staying home with me since he was born.  I recently had to start working.  I pay a lot of attention to him when we're at home together, so I don't know what the deal is, but it worries me.  Someone please help.


                                                                                         -Stephanie

Dear Stephanie,

I went through this exact same thing with Frick when he was four.  He repeated a four letter word I said his father said and was told that he shouldn't say it because it was a bad word.  This was the first time he had ever encountered the concept of "good" and "bad" words.  He got all worked up because he felt like he just didn't know which ones were good and which ones were bad so he kept asking that question every time he said any word.  And sometimes he would ask that question if he was just thinking about a word.  It used to drive me nuts!

The only responsible thing a mother can do in a situation like this is to educate her child about the bad words.  All of them.  This way the child will be able to answer the question "Did I just say a bad word?" themselves.  First you ease them in with the soft/religious swears like "damn" or "goddamnit" or "hell".  Next come the medium/toilet/body part swears such as "piss", "asshole" or "shitty asshole".  Then you should be ready to move on to the many grammatical uses of the word "fuck" (noun, verb, adjective, adverb), the possible prefixes and suffixes such as in the cases of "dumbfuck", "fuckery" or "fuckity" and how to insert between syllables as in "fan-fucking-tastic".  You finish up your lesson by taking all of these words and applying them in new and innovative ways.

(eg.) "What the sweet-monkey-balls-christ is up with this dumb-fuckery?"

I know this will be difficult for you, but it is best for your child.  Not only will you have solved the problem of the annoying question but you will have significantly enriched your child's vocabulary.  If you don't do this you could very well end up being like this woman.  Believe me, nobody wants that.  Nobody.

                                                                            -Mommy Rotten