Source: Child Central
my seven year old daughter keeps running into roads when she doesn't get her own way what do i do?
today her sister told her on the way back from school she could not go in her room with her friend when they got home so my daughter ran across a main road to the other side luckily there were no cars at this point I then had to talk my other daughter into "telling her what she wants to hear" till we get her home safely I then coaxed her and directed her to cross back over the road safely 5 mins later her younger brother upset her again she then proceeded to run straight out and infront of a car wich luckily for her stopped in time. She just stood there infront of the car staring at me while i was screaming at her my heart pounding so fast i couldn't breath I finally got her home she was sent to her room grounded for a week so she misses out on her special day out. Later I had to take her to brownies across the same road going there was fine but coming home she wanted to go to the shop but i didn't have any money on me she then began to start throwing a tantrum I was so scared she might do it again that I grabbed her arm and dragged her kicking and screaming all the way home. I have to cross this road twice every day to take her to school but i'm so scared as its not the first time shes done it she used to do it all the time but we fort shed grown out of it and she has done it on different roads every time she doesn't get her own way but we have never given into her we just tell her what she wants to hear until she is safely away from the road and then take her home and punish her what can I do???
by jodie
(england)
Dear jodie,
First of all, let me say that I admire you for choosing not to spank your daughter in this extreme parenting situation. Because we all know that spanking your child is 100% wrong, 100% of the time. No matter what. In fact spanking is so wrong that anything else is better. Anything. Even lying and pandering. Even getting your other children to lie and pander. But let's be honest here. Clearly your methods are not strong enough for your daughter because she keeps running back into that road. What we want is for her to never do that again so you won't have to keep going through this song and dance.
The best and most effective way to discipline children is to use natural consequences. And the natural consequences of running into the road are severe injury and possibly death. Because the whole point of the exercise is to actually avoid this kind of consequence you are going to have to get creative and fake the consequences. I've given a lot of thought to the logistics of this (because I am totally helpful like that, and because I got bored of running my secret underground militia) and here's how I think it should go down:
Have a friend come along with you the next time you have to walk near that road. Have this friend push a covered stroller and tell your daughter that your friend's baby is sleeping in there and not to disturb her. But in reality you will have a life-like baby doll in there packed in with some water balloons full of fake blood. When you get close enough to the road have your friend suddenly go nuts and shove the stroller out into traffic as hard as she can. With any luck a car should hit it, and baby and blood will go flying all over the place. Be sure to add to the overall effect by screaming, "Dear God! The humanity!"
Yes, you will endanger the life of the driver and any passengers in that car. Yes, you will incur criminal charges. Yes, you will scar you daughter for life, but it will be a very long life that does not end tragically as roadkill and everyone will know what a wonderful mother you are for going to extreme lengths to avoid spanking. Because spanking is just irresponsible.
Mommy Rotten
my seven year old daughter keeps running into roads when she doesn't get her own way what do i do?
today her sister told her on the way back from school she could not go in her room with her friend when they got home so my daughter ran across a main road to the other side luckily there were no cars at this point I then had to talk my other daughter into "telling her what she wants to hear" till we get her home safely I then coaxed her and directed her to cross back over the road safely 5 mins later her younger brother upset her again she then proceeded to run straight out and infront of a car wich luckily for her stopped in time. She just stood there infront of the car staring at me while i was screaming at her my heart pounding so fast i couldn't breath I finally got her home she was sent to her room grounded for a week so she misses out on her special day out. Later I had to take her to brownies across the same road going there was fine but coming home she wanted to go to the shop but i didn't have any money on me she then began to start throwing a tantrum I was so scared she might do it again that I grabbed her arm and dragged her kicking and screaming all the way home. I have to cross this road twice every day to take her to school but i'm so scared as its not the first time shes done it she used to do it all the time but we fort shed grown out of it and she has done it on different roads every time she doesn't get her own way but we have never given into her we just tell her what she wants to hear until she is safely away from the road and then take her home and punish her what can I do???
by jodie
(england)
First of all, let me say that I admire you for choosing not to spank your daughter in this extreme parenting situation. Because we all know that spanking your child is 100% wrong, 100% of the time. No matter what. In fact spanking is so wrong that anything else is better. Anything. Even lying and pandering. Even getting your other children to lie and pander. But let's be honest here. Clearly your methods are not strong enough for your daughter because she keeps running back into that road. What we want is for her to never do that again so you won't have to keep going through this song and dance.
The best and most effective way to discipline children is to use natural consequences. And the natural consequences of running into the road are severe injury and possibly death. Because the whole point of the exercise is to actually avoid this kind of consequence you are going to have to get creative and fake the consequences. I've given a lot of thought to the logistics of this (because I am totally helpful like that, and because I got bored of running my secret underground militia) and here's how I think it should go down:
Have a friend come along with you the next time you have to walk near that road. Have this friend push a covered stroller and tell your daughter that your friend's baby is sleeping in there and not to disturb her. But in reality you will have a life-like baby doll in there packed in with some water balloons full of fake blood. When you get close enough to the road have your friend suddenly go nuts and shove the stroller out into traffic as hard as she can. With any luck a car should hit it, and baby and blood will go flying all over the place. Be sure to add to the overall effect by screaming, "Dear God! The humanity!"
Yes, you will endanger the life of the driver and any passengers in that car. Yes, you will incur criminal charges. Yes, you will scar you daughter for life, but it will be a very long life that does not end tragically as roadkill and everyone will know what a wonderful mother you are for going to extreme lengths to avoid spanking. Because spanking is just irresponsible.
Mommy Rotten
Uuuhhhhh. Do they have something against HAND HOLDING?? Sounds like THAT might help. What with the screaming death-tantrums & all...
ReplyDeleteis it bad that i encourage my kids to play in traffic??
ReplyDeletenope. that just takes all the fun out of running into the highway or something just to piss you off.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds to me like this child may have a few issues
ReplyDelete1) ADHD-seriously, not joking..this cannot be the only behavior issue and at 7 years of age it makes me wonder if something else is awry that she seems to have missed the blatant logical consequence of running in the road = death and normal people don't do this
2) oppositional defiance- this is very defiant behavior at the extreme of self harm, might merit investigation
3) the child is absolutely spoiled and has never been actually disciplined. Since the other children seem to be more "normal" I would tend to think there is something up with the actual child. But in the event of spoiled rotten= SPANK the kid! Agreed, but find not enough info aobut that actual child