Versatile Blogger

Karissa over at The Iris Chronicles (check her out!) has graciously awarded moi with The Versatile Blogger award!  I've seen this award on other blogs and dreamed that one day, I too could join the ranks of the versatile bloggers.  Finally that day has come!  Apparently the rules are to thank the person who awarded you (Thank you, Karissa!), write seven random things about yourself and then choose another ten deserving recipients.

I know you are just dying to know seven random things about me.  And to be honest, writing this wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be, but being the versatile blogger that I am I managed to find seven random and totally fascinating facts about Mommy Rotten:


1 - I have a mental IMDb.  Daddy loves to show off to his friends my skills.  They'll be talking about some movie and someone will forget the name of an actor in it.  Then he gets all "My wife will know!" and asks me.  And sure enough, no matter how obscure the actor is I can give the name of the actor, several other films that actor has been in, any guest appearances on TV shows, and other famous people that actor has worked with.  This is one of the stupidest things to be good at (especially since it's nowhere near as good as the real IMDb) but people are always feigning that they are impressed.

2 - I am a bona fide, hippie love-child.  It's true.  I was conceived one magical indian summer in a tree house, on a nudist commune owned by the founder of a made up religion that allows its adherents to be naked and smoke copious amounts of weed.  My name was almost "Twinkle" but for the sobering effects of a drug-free labour.

3 - I was once told that I have unusually tiny pinky fingers.  My piano teacher told me I would never "make it" as a keyboardist because of that defect.  And so I wisely abandoned the keyboard and took up the bass guitar, the largest possible instrument that my parents would tolerate took my fancy.  And I'm pretty damned good at it, so you can suck it, Camilleri!  (Although, to be fair I'm clearly not a rock star.  Yet.)

4 - I am a connoisseuse of bad movies.  In high school a friend dubbed me a "B-flicker" (which was a huge relief because at first I thought he said "beef licker" and I wasn't sure if I should punch him out or not.)  I had seen so many movies that it seemed like the only ones left were the crappy ones.  And I couldn't get enough of them.  You've got the intentionally campy ones like "Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator", "The Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death" and "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowlerama".  And then there are my favourites: the unintentionally awful films like "Showgirls", "La Casa 4 (Witchcraft)" and "The Unbelievable Truth".  To me these films embody the very spirit of film director Ed Wood, that all time worst winner of the Golden Turkey Award.

5 - I hate chick flicks.  From what I can tell they are based on an assumption that women are afraid to be alone and enjoy crying as a pastime.  Once some chick endorsed a movie to me by saying, "Oh you absolutely must see it, it will totally make you cry."  The fuck?  I'm sorry but that sounds like the opposite of fun.  I have no judgment for those who do find chick flicks enjoyable but my girlfriends have all learned that if they are going to make me sit through one they had best put up with me laughing my ass off and tearing the shit out of it.  They don't take it personally because they know about #4.

6 - I have anger issues.  I am just so pissed off all the time.  It's not fun.  I don't like it but it really is who I am.  I spent the last ten years trying to change this fact and the only thing that changed is that I got more pissed off.  So instead I have learned to accept it as reality and try to morph it into something good.  Turns out being pissed off is my muse.  I never write so well as when I'm steamed and for some reason when I do it, it's funny.  Even my kids have a hard time not giggling when I get into a pissed off rant at them for some asshole thing they did.  So really, my blog is just free therapy.

7 - I met my husband in a past life.  Not really.  But when I was 16, I was in a children's play with my future sister in-law.  Mother Rotten helped out backstage with the costumes and my future husband was operating the spotlight.   Nine years later, I'm having dinner at the Rotten's and we stumble on an old photo from the play and I suddenly realize why my sister in-law looked so familiar to me.  I don't remember meeting my husband back then, though I remember his sister and mother.  But then he would have been 12 years old (yes, he is younger than me) and I was unlikely to take any notice of 12 year old boys at the age of 16.

And there you have it.  So now it is time for my nominees.  I've only been blogging for slightly less than a year now and so it would not surprise me in the least if it turns out I picked people who have won this award before.  I tried not to worry about that.  Instead I picked those versatile individuals who I thought would have the funniest things to say about themselves:

Yvonne at Attracted to Shiny Things
Jill at Yeah. Good Times.
Stephanie at Momma Be Thy Name
Fadra at all.things.fadra
Ashley at Random Thoughts From a Mad White Woman
Madeline at The Cheeky Papers
Shirley at Shirley Ewe Must Be Joking
Maria at Guerrilla Mom
Roxanne at Unintentionally Brilliant
Jo at The Happy Logophile